Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Please help the paramilitaries!

Loyalist paramilitaries are trying to find an escape-route from terrorism, Shadow Northern Ireland secretary David Lidington claimed tonight after face-to-face talks with representatives of the outlawed Ulster Defence Association and Ulster Volunteer Force.

Let's analyse some of the Conservative MP's comments:

"What came across very strongly was a sense of being beleaguered."

No! Really? Those poor people. How dare we condemn them and their violence!

"But they asserted very strongly to me that they wanted a way out of paramilitarism, to concentrate on working to help their communities."

They did? Ok well tell them that setting up a local football league for example would be a good thing, giving youngsters guns and urging them to practice shooting on Catholics would be a bad thing.

After the meeting, a spokesman for the Loyalist commission made some interesting comments. Let's analyse them also:

"He (David Lidington) was made aware of the feelings of frustration and anger in the loyalist community at this time, particularly over what we see as political policing around parades and the interfaces."

Sure why have police there at all? They only get in the way of potential violence!

"The three main loyalist paramilitary groups remain committed to working for the betterment of their communities, but they need help doing this."

Would this help involve money by any chance?

"They need recognition for their good work on the ground."

What, you mean the shootings?

Bottom line is, the Loyalists need to go the route of the IRA - disbandment.


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