Tuesday, July 12, 2005

 

Top Ten Tuesday - Humid Hell

Right now, I can't really think of any other list to make besides one which allows me to vent my frustration at this feckin' heat. Therefore I give you the ten things I hate about hot weather. Without further ado:

1. Sunburn - Like many Irish people, I can't seem to get a tan. I just appear to go from pale white to red. Irish genes are crap. We're just not geared towards sunlight. Mostly I'm just lurking in the shade like a vampire. It's not really surprising that an Irishman came up with the story of Dracula, is it?
2. Nasty flesh - I don't know about you guys, but a trip outside my back garden involves me having to see alot more of my neighbours than I would like. There's always that one guy who looks like an overweight Tom Selleck who needs to tan as much of himself as is socially acceptable. Scary.
3. Whingeing - People seem to whinge an awful lot more when it's warm. Look at this post right now. It's one big whinge! This heat makes us uncomfortable.
4. Insect abundance - I hate it when you're indoors and you have a window open and some crazy looking creature flies in and goes all over the place. Where's that newspaper?
5. Perspiration - I'm so sick of having to wipe the sweat off of my forehead. I'd wear one of those headband things to keep off the sweat but the eighties are over now...
6. The smell of sweat - See above. You yourself can shower but the smell of sweat will be all around you. People need to use some anti-perspirant.
7. Laziness - It's too warm to do anything. I'd love to go for a swim but it's too warm to move...
8. Warm foods/drinks - It's best to avoid warm meals and beverages. I'm sitting here drinking a cup of tea and the sweat is dripping off me!
9. Air conditioning - I have a fan on beside me but it's pretty useless. Stupid technology.
10. Screaming kids - They're like hyenas. When you're warm and eager to be still and relax the last thing you need is a bunch of howling nutcases. Grrr.

So there you have it. I feel a bit better after that. Feel free to comment on my choices or to offer your own.

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