Friday, April 08, 2005
Fun Irelander Feature-Never!
As someone who would most likely be classed as a moderate nationalist (in the sense that I don't advocate war) I think it's fair to say that there is alot of things I would put up with for unity to occur. Hell, if a UI meant the end of a republican form of government I'd be willing to put up with that. However, there's compromise and then there's surrender. There's sensibility and there's just plain madness. Below, I outline some things that I could never ever compromise on in order to secure Irish unity:
- Having the St. Patrick's cross as the flag - Aside from it being an awful looking thing, I fail to see how red and white reflect my nation's identity. Wouldn't accept this at all!
- Belfast as the capital city - Belfast? If we're not letting Cork have it we're hardly gonna give it to Belfast. Has to be Dublin!
- United Ireland with a border - A United Ireland with a border ain't a United Ireland!
- The demise of BBC NI - And take lovely Donna Traynor off our screens? Is a UI really worth that?
- Revised BBC weather reports - If Ireland is reunified the BBC might start reporting the weather throughout the island as opposed to ignoring the Republic like they always do. We can't have that. Then we wouldn't be able to yell at the BBC's weatherman any more...
- Revised attitude in sport - With a UI, the Brits wouldn't be able to annoy us by calling the North's sporting athletes British, so they should be made call the UI athletes British or it won't be worth it.
- FAI's Destruction - The FAI must be forced out of business and FAI officials must be herded into Croke Park Colisseum-style and set upon by angry football fans led by Roy Keane on a horse. If a horse can't be found, Bertie will do instead.
These principles are the backbone of Irish society and are NON-NEGOTIABLE! Anyone got any others?
- Having the St. Patrick's cross as the flag - Aside from it being an awful looking thing, I fail to see how red and white reflect my nation's identity. Wouldn't accept this at all!
- Belfast as the capital city - Belfast? If we're not letting Cork have it we're hardly gonna give it to Belfast. Has to be Dublin!
- United Ireland with a border - A United Ireland with a border ain't a United Ireland!
- The demise of BBC NI - And take lovely Donna Traynor off our screens? Is a UI really worth that?
- Revised BBC weather reports - If Ireland is reunified the BBC might start reporting the weather throughout the island as opposed to ignoring the Republic like they always do. We can't have that. Then we wouldn't be able to yell at the BBC's weatherman any more...
- Revised attitude in sport - With a UI, the Brits wouldn't be able to annoy us by calling the North's sporting athletes British, so they should be made call the UI athletes British or it won't be worth it.
- FAI's Destruction - The FAI must be forced out of business and FAI officials must be herded into Croke Park Colisseum-style and set upon by angry football fans led by Roy Keane on a horse. If a horse can't be found, Bertie will do instead.
These principles are the backbone of Irish society and are NON-NEGOTIABLE! Anyone got any others?
# posted by United Irelander @ 7:30 PM 
© 2008 United Irelander.
