Monday, May 28, 2007



"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci

It's been a while dear readers since I've read an article that has brought up the taste of vomit to the back of my mouth, but, sure enough, that is exactly what happened to me earlier on when I happened across an article in the Sunday Independent by one Brendan O'Connor.

O'Connor has written a truly stomach-churning piece of condescending trash in which he sees fit to lecture the nation on how 'sophisticated' they are for returning Fianna Fáil and Bertie Ahern to power. Of course having Brendan O'Connor lecture you on sophistication is like having OJ Simpson lecture you on being a good husband but I thought I'd nonetheless indulge Mr O'Connor's right-wing recital and show it up for the garbage that it is.

O'Connor fittingly entitles his address to the country, "Voters aren't so simple after all" and declares...

"They haven't gone away you know. The sophisticated electorate are back...Every media outlet, present company excluded, was telling people that they were in the mood for change. But no one quite knew what it was we wanted to change. Things were good. In fact, things were better than they'd ever been."

Now you're probably thinking to yourself, 'is this guy not aware of the sick and vulnerable people of our society who desperately need assistance'? Well, indeed he is aware of them. It's just that he doesn't particularly give a damn about them. Get a load of this...

"The poor and the sick will always be with us, but the vast majority - the non old and the non sick, the walking well - were happy."

Can you believe that? If ever a sentence typified the disgusting 'I'm alright Jack' attitude so prevalent amongst the self-serving elite of this country, truly this is it. In essence what he's saying is, f*ck the sick and the elderly because I'm neither. This guy has no consideration for those who are less fortunate than him. He's a disgrace. He then proceeds to engage in some token Sinn Féin bashing. No doubt to please his corporate overlords...

"In our sophistication we have deemed that we are not interested in putting cranks and obsessives and single issue gobshites like Sinn Féin into power. We'd rather people who will run the country."

Of course where would a right-wing address on sophistication be without a mention of Michael McDowell? Now it was put to me recently that McDowell is viewed by the media in a "pathological negative" and that the media are intolerant of someone from the centre-right. Well I strongly disagree on that and I think O'Connor proves my point. Get your sick buckets at the ready...

"But we did let ourselves down slightly. What is a complex and a sophisticated electorate without a complex and sophisticated guy like McDowell? We kind of surprised ourselves there. We didn't quite know our own strength. We will mourn it now for a while. Clearly we're not as sophisticated as we think. Just ask McCreevy, or Alan Dukes. In all our sophistication we sometimes don't know when we're onto a good thing."

Can you believe this tripe? We didn't know our own strength? We will mourn it for a while? I'd be embarrassed to write this load of hammy hogwash. Seriously, who the hell sits around contemplating whether or not the electorate are sophisticated? Unreal haughtiness! This fool ought to be leading the Tories instead of David Cameron. Furthermore I've not yet met one individual who intends to "mourn" the fact that McDowell lost his seat. Quite the opposite in fact. O'Connor finishes his sermon with a flourish by touching on the man of the moment, Bertie Ahern...

"But it is a measure of the sophistication that we didn't ditch, on a whim, the important guy. He should be aware though that normal service resumes now. The honeymoon is over...He was the underdog and we liked that. But now he's the top dog again so all bets are off."

A laughably phony commitment here to closely monitor Ahern's spell in office. By the way, since when was Bertie the "underdog"? Snake perhaps. Underdog? Hardly. Then again, as long as he pleases his masters he can write any old guff. Brendan naturally couldn't sign off without giving us a suitably arrogant conclusion to his piece and in that sense he didn't disappoint. He writes...

"But for today let's just bask in a great victory for democracy, humanity, people power and our own sophistication. We are, as the fellah might say, a class act. Well done everyone. And we'll deal with you next week Bertie."

Yeah he'll deal with you next week Bertie. So don't forget the brown envelope and he won't forget the lotion.

I can't recall reading an article in recent times that contained this degree of snotty, sycophantic drivel. Just nonsense. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised that a guy who has a face like a smacked arse could come out with so much utter shite. Mr O'Connor might find that remark a bit unsophisticated. I can't say I give a toss.


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