Sunday, May 13, 2007


Paddy last in Euro farce!

I don't know why I do it but every year I sit myself down and subject myself to the musical madness that is the Eurovision Song Contest. This year's event certainly didn't disappoint as a spectacle as we had transvestites, German swing and of course the obligatory Eastern European bloc voting.

Sadly Ireland suffered the indignity of coming dead last this year as it seems the people of Europe, with the exception of the tone deaf Albanians who gave us 5 points, quite rightly snubbed our mediocre effort.

The song "They Can't stop the Spring" by folk band Dervish picked up the proverbial wooden spoon and I was disappointed that our nearest neighbours the UK didn't give us any points! We gave their entry 7 points even though their song was just as bad as ours if not worse.

I sat through the Irish entry with my hands covering my face. To call it cringeworthy would be an understatement. It had the most in-your-face "diddly-eye" music you will ever hear in your life. I was half expecting a farmer and his cow to walk out on stage.

The person who choreographed the Irish entry must have been stoned because it was like watching something from Woodstock. The lead singer Cathy Jordan was dressed up like a hippy and waved her hands about as if she was beckoning the return of flower power to the masses. Just atrocious altogether.

They can't sing a note

Of course even if Ireland had produced a good song it wouldn't have mattered much as the contest has become a great big joke with the Balkan countries always voting for one another. Same with the Scandinavian countries. Obviously when you're an island nation you don't stand much of a chance. Especially when the nearest island won't give you a vote. Miserable Brits!

The song which did win was a big pile of rubbish and I was amazed that it won. It was so forgettable I can't even recall the tune. I felt the best song came from Georgia but that didn't fare too well. The favourite was Ukraine's entry which featured a drag queen with some sort of star on her...uh I mean his head, but that ended up in second place. Interestingly Ireland gave maximum points to Lithuania which was bizarre as they weren't popular with other nations at all. Did Ireland's Lithuanian immigrant population dial up in their droves for it?

Anyway I just thought I'd share my thoughts on what was a very frustrating evening indeed. Expect to hear this Eurovision humbling discussed in great detail over the weekend here in Ireland as the media tear into Dervish.

I miss the days when we couldn't stop winning this contest but the Eastern Europeans have ruined all that, along with the abysmal songs Ireland have churned out of course.

One final note, pardon the pun, Irish people want us to get closer to these chaps and to embrace Europe? My hole. They'd gobble us up if they got a chance. Self-serving swines the lot of 'em!


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