Friday, January 27, 2006


Fun Irelander Feature - Pet peeves

Bloody Corpo! Last week's Fun Irelander Feature was quite cheerful as I went and described the little things in life that make it worth living. Right now though I'm feeling about as cheerful as Victor Meldrew here to your left so I figured that this week I'd describe some of my pet peeves which make life a pain in the arse:

- People who don't watch where they're going - I have to deal with these types all the time on O'Connell Street. They're either stopping to talk to their friends or stopping to look in the window but they don't seem to be aware that there are other people around too. WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING. I particularly hate these muppets who whip out their mobile phones and hold it aloft as if it were Moses' staff parting the red sea. Idiots.

- Ringtones - Speaking of phones, another pet peeve of mine is people with annoying ringtones. As for those people who have the Crazy Frog as their ringtone, they deserve to be beaten with sticks.

- Dublin Bus - Maybe I could tolerate the fact that they keep raising their prices to ridiculous levels if they actually made sure the busses turned up on time. Sadly, trusting Dublin Bus to show up on time is akin to trusting Sven-Goran Eriksson on his own with an attractive female...

- People who cough on you - Staying with Dublin Bus, I had the pleasure today of sitting in front of an old guy who was coughing and splurting right behind me. What the hell do you do in this situation? You can't exactly turn around and tell him to shut up. Maybe if you're from New York you can I suppose. Incidentally my throat feels a little sore right now. Gee, I wonder why that is? It's certainly not from yelling at sick old people.

- Rip-off culture - It's ridiculous in this city. I got charged forty cents for taking two teeny tiny pieces of butter for some toast. Forty cents? Are we that loaded? Whatever next? Paying for straws and napkins? F*cking joke. Where's Eddie Hobbs?

- People who spit - Use a hanky for feck's sake.

- 'Dorsh' accent - 'Roysh so loike myself and Sorcha were out at that club Bondi and loike it was soooooooo amazing loike. Loike totally loike.' This D4 accent does my head in. The people who use it sound like a cross between posh Brits and dopey Americans. It seems to be catching on down here too. Loike totally.

- The Corpo - Dublin Corporation workers are a pet peeve of mine. I'm seeing them everywhere these days. Anyone know what all that construction work on O'Connell Street right now is for? I'm just wondering why it is that they're turning the street into a shithole.

Anyway that's all the pet peeves I can think of for now. I probably have alot more. Getting that off my chest has mad me feel much better! Feel free to offer some of your own pet peeves.


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