Friday, October 07, 2005


Fun Irelander Feature - Relaxation

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~ Chinese Proverb

Those Chinese were on to something with that one. Lately things have been pretty hectic for me and I've been trying to reduce my stress levels through some relaxation techniques. Sadly, going through these techniques seem to have the adverse effect on me and I seem to get even more tense and uptight because of them. Permit me to comment on some of the common relaxation techniques which are out there for you...

Meditation - I thought meditation was all about lighting candles and sitting around chanting. It is...but there are some less bizarre methods too thankfully. Mostly it's about relaxing your breathing. Apparently if you're stressed you should breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Nuts to that! You can't exactly do that with people around you. You'll look like you're carrying out a scene from the film Junior by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Next!

Listen to the whale music - Have you ever listened to this? It's not music, it's a racket! You can listen to a few clips of these whales 'singing' here. What a joke. My dog sounds like that when the bangers go off around the neighbourhood yet you don't see me recording him! Although now that I think about it...

Loosen your clothing and get comfortable - Yeah, this will really help stress levels. It wouldn't be stressful at all watching the looks on your colleagues' faces as they wonder why you're giving them a free striptease...

Tighten your fist to feel tension - This is wrong on so many levels.

Yoga - This seems a bit too extreme for my liking. All that moving and bending. I break out in a sweat when I lean down to pick up my remote control. I guess that means Yoga is out of the question as well.

So how does one relax in this crazy, stress-filled world of ours? I'm all out of ideas. What about you though? What is it you do in order to help yourself unwind? I'm open to all suggestions (except for listening to Enya).


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