Friday, September 09, 2005


Fun Irelander Feature-Irish luck my arse

"If you have the luck of the Irish
You'd be sorry and wish you were dead
You should have the luck of the Irish
And you'd wish you was English instead!" - John Lennon

The luck of the Irish - what a load of bollocks! John Lennon understood that the whole luck of the Irish thing is one big joke. So why is it I constantly hear this phrase?

'Ooh, that must be the luck of the Irish'!

What luck? Surely anyone with even the most basic understanding of Irish history can understand that we're far from lucky? Time to refresh people's memory...

Invasions, war, oppression, land taken, failed rebellions, oppression, failed rebellions, oppression. Hmm. Spotted any luck yet? Wait, I'm not done...more oppression and...oh, a famine. Millions dying or emigrating, language slowly evaporating, religious intolerance, another failed rebellion, a bit more oppression, more division, oh hang on...Home Rule! At last! Ah wait...a war. Many killed, more division, talk of partition...another failed rebellion. Death, destruction, looting...ah wait maybe it didn't fail. Hey things are looking up...ooh partition. Not nice. Ah sure let's have another war. More fighting. Oh wait maybe things will improve now that this guy has got the Treaty...oh. They've shot the guy who got the Treaty. Damn. What's this? Civil war? Right so. Ah, the civil war's over. Oh, people getting harassed in both parts of the island. Ah well maybe things will pick no, another war. We'll try and keep out of this one but we'll help in secret...ah no, they bombed us. Ah well, we'll be praised eventually by the Brits...ah no, that Churchill fellow just laid into us. Ah well things will get better...ah no. War in the North. Bombings, murder, alot of dirty business. Oh good, the Sunningdale Agreement. Ah no...the unionists aren't happy. More violence. Oh wait, the Good Friday Agreement! Ah no, it's not doing too well...oh wait, the IRA are to decommission...ah no, they're not. Oh good, the IRA are going out of business...maybe. Oh no, the unionists still aren't happy...oh good, at least we'll make the World Cup...ah no, Thierry Henry...the prick.

Wow, how lucky we are! Fiddle-dee-dee! Begorrah and so forth. Luck o' the Irish my arse.


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