Monday Madness - Halloween

Well, it won't be long now. In just a few hours the sun will go down and the streets will be filled with numerous, ravenous little fiends eager for 'treats' to guzzle down whilst the cool October night will be filled with the constant noise of booming, ear-piercing, bangers.

I hate Halloween.

I tend to think as you get older that these holidays become less and less fun but at least holidays like Easter and Christmas retain a certain charm. But Halloween? That just becomes a gigantic pain in the arse. Having to buy sweets for all those greedy kids, taking care of your pets so they don't suffer an aneurysm from the bangers and fireworks, watching several unsavoury characters wheeling around their mouldy furniture so they can shove it on a bonfire. What joy!

Let's face it, alot of the things to do with Halloween are pure bullshit. Watching a bonfire? I mean, come on - it's a fire. What's so great about that? You know where else you can see a fire? At home. And as for these bangers, I have vented my fury at these things before. I can understand the fascination with fireworks as they are pretty to look at but bangers...go bang. You know what else goes bang? A bomb. You don't see people looking on them as fun though.

My advice to you all is to make something fun out of what is pretty much a glorified crapfest. Go somewhere if you can.

If possible, try heading to a fancy-dress party. You avoid the bonfires, bangers and greedy kids and what's more, it's pretty much your only chance all year to wear make-up - and that's an opportunity not to be missed.

Happy Halloween folks!